Beautiful...

I was so unique

Now I feel skin deep

I count on the make-up to cover it all

Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention

I thought I could be strong

But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful

Make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart,

and be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

Just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me

Fighting to make the mirror happy

Trying to find whatever is missing

Won't you help me back to glory

You  make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe

You step inside my heart,

and I am amazed

I love to hear to You say

Who I am is quite enough

You make me worthy of love

and beautiful.

Thoughts...

I've been contemplating a lot of things lately... being here does that to me... things are different than I thought they'd be.  

Too much focus is put on things that are unimportant.  All of my energy seems to go into not getting caught up in pointless drama, being in a relationship, getting married, competition, cliques, and the way you look (hair, makeup, clothes).  When I'm worshipping God, does he really care if my hair is curled?  Why does the shade of my lipstick matter more than the condition of my heart?  Simple answer? It doesn't.  I have had to make strong decisions on who/what I'm going to focus on.  I can walk toward idols and superficial things, or I can follow Jesus, my Savior.  Even though, I'm struck by this opposition every day, there are a few things I'm sure of...

I want to know God.

I want to know who I am in him.

I want to see things the way God intended me to see them,

not the way other people try to portray them.

I want to trust him with my life.

and know that he has an amazing journey set out for me.

I want to laugh often,

dance freely,

and hug longer.

I want him to be my best friend,

my all,

my everything.

Dishes...

We've had a little problem with some of the roommates not cleaning up after themselves, so Ebony and I decided to make a couple signs.

Here's the one I made and put above the kitchen sink... :)

The new roomies :) ... minus one.

(From Left to Right): Ebony, me, Amy, Kendall

Come raggio di sol

Come raggio di sol mite e sereno

Sovra placidi flutti si riposa,

Mentre del mare nel profondo seno

Sta la tempesta ascosa:

Cosi riso talor gaio e pacato

Di contento, di gioia un labbro infiora,

Mentre nel suo segreto il cor piagato

S'angoscia e si martora.

As a ray of sun mild and serene,

upon placid waves itself rests,

while of the sea in the profound bosom

remains the tempest hidden,

so laughter, sometimes gay and peaceful

with contentment, with joy a lip touches,

while in its secret depths the heart wounded

anguishes and itself tortures.

it's gonna be alright, child...

it's gonna be alright, child

even through the darkest night, child

i'll even use the darkness to teach you how to hear me

it's gonna be alright now

even if you don't see how

i'll even use your failure to help you to draw near me

so hear me

i am calling

child, come falling deeper in love with me

trust me

you must let go

or you will never know any deeper love in me

it's gonna be alright here

if you will let me hold your heart near

i'll even use your sorrow

to teach you how to love me

it's gonna be alright, child

i'll hold you really close and tight, child

i'll even use your woundings

to help you know more of me

so hear me

i am calling

child, come falling deeper in love with me

just trust me

you must let go

or you will never know any deeper love in me

why do you hold onto the things of your past?

let go and cling to me and love that will last

how can you know me if you do not trust my love?

let go, you'll find my love is more than enough

oh, hear me

i am calling

child, come falling deeper in love with me

oh, trust me

you must let go

or you will never know any deeper love in me

letting go will set you free

it's gonna be alright, now

even if you can't see how

i'll even use your failure to help you to draw near me.

Dennis Jernigan came and spoke/led worship at chapel yesterday. (If you don't know him, he wrote "You are my all in all").  It was an amazing time of worship.  He sang the song that you see above... this song really touched me and I could tell it had the same effect on the other people in the room.  God knew that it was just the thing I (and many other people) needed to hear.  The song is beautiful and I hope it will touch you as much as it touched me.

It's 2am...

Yes, I am still awake - well, just barely.  I'm basically just writing this post to attempt to wake myself up... I have a "Jesus and the Gospels" exam in 6 hours and I am attempting to study, even though my mind is kind of like mush at the moment.  It's not really working.  Oh, well... back to work.

Sorry I haven't written an update in awhile.  It's been on my list of things to do for the last week or so and things have been insanely busy.  I'll try to fit it in this weekend... love to all :)